Muncan Meat Market

When a Romanian coworker of mine told me he was going to bring traditional Romanian sausages to our friend’s barbeque, I was pretty excited. When he told me the butcher who sold these sausages was located in Astoria, I was ecstatic. I almost begged him to take me. Well, the day of the barbeque came, and as promised, my Romanian comrade guided me to Muncan’s easy-to-miss storefront on Broadway. Upon entering this exotic meat bonanza, I was bewildered. It was a pure plethora of unfamiliar meats. I wanted everything even though I had no idea of what anything was.

There were at least a dozen varieties of bacon in the glass cases. Smoked ribs, cured meats, and sausages dangled from the jungle gym above the counter. With Romanian dialects dancing in the air and hand-to-hand transactions taking place, you could tell this was the real deal. It was a crackhouse for meat addicts. My friend brutishly asked for our fix. Mici. Pronounced “meech” and ringing in at $4.99/lb., it definitely wasn’t the most appetizing thing in the shop. I wondered why my guide would choose what appeared to be scrawny logs of ground pork, with all these mouth-watering meats surrounding us. These mici didn’t even have casings. I was disappointed that we were leaving the shop with only one item. He promised not to worry. Traditionally served as street food and enjoyed with a beer, these sausages would go perfectly at the barbeque.

After a round of the essential burgers and dogs prepared by our host, my Romanian friend commandeered the grill and slapped the innocent mici onto the hot grates. After what seemed like an eternity and with a grease fire starting to erupt, the mici were ready to ready to be devoured.

The once frail meat logs plumped up into perfectly shaped nuggets of grilled-marked goodness. Surprising to me was that even though this sausage had no casing to speak of, the grill seared a perfect chewy exterior encasing the juicy center. A quick dip through mustard sealed the deal. The first bite was an overwhelming sense of jubilation. Not packed with spices, and not mild, its garlicky robustness fell somewhere in between an Italian sausage and a breakfast link, but nothing like either of them. Damn fine sausage. Now I can’t wait to go back to try some other Romanian meats.

Muncan Food Corp
43-09 Broadway (btwn 43rd & 44th st.)
Astoria, NY 11103
(718) 417-5095

Astoria Street Combing

You know the old saying, “The best things in life are free”. Well, I don’t buy it. The best things in life can be pretty damn expensive. Tropical vacations, dinner with friends, even the love of your life can put a huge dent in your pocket. But there are things in life that are absolutely free, and they can be pretty decent. Hell, more than half of the furniture in The Metro Miser’s apartment was free. The kitchen hutch, the nightstand, and the dresser were all giveaways from friends moving out of their apartments. Whenever a friend is moving, I ask two questions. Do you need any help? (I cringe on the phone waiting for the answer.) And are you getting rid of anything?

It’s no secret that in New York a lot of people toss out many of their possessions when moving out of their apartments. Space is a premium. People don’t want to clutter their new apartments with their old crap. I’ve found out that the best pickings can be found on the last weekend of every month. Moving day is a smorgasbord of pickings for the street comber. In Astoria, futons, lamps, small kitchen appliances and exercise equipment are abundant on these weekends. I found my living room side table right on my block. A Mexican handmade wood and leather chair was a great find. My coffee table, although it needed a coat of stain to camouflage the blemishes, was a steal at only $0.00.

Just this past weekend, I went dumpster diving, another one of my favorite pastimes. In this particular gray chest of treasures on 29th st and 31st ave, I came across an old leather suitcase. Upon prying the leather straps apart, I struck gold. Three vintage board games emerged. With boxes completely intact, they looked quite good for their age.

I decided to leave the Monopoly for another lucky soul, and took the Stop Thief and Baseball Strategy board games home with me. I took a quick look on eBay, just out of curiosity, to see if the games were worth anything. Surprise! A recently completed auction showed the Stop Thief game going for a final bid of $41. The baseball game went for $10. Hell yeah. That’s fifty bucks in the bank for The Metro Miser.

Tacos El Compita

Astoria, Queens really isn’t known for it’s Mexican cuisine, but for a cheap dinner, Mexican grub is hard to beat. A newbie to the neighborhood is Tacos El Compita. This tiny taqueria is situated on 34th Avenue, snuggled between a Chinese take-out joint and a neighborhood convenience. Dimly lit, this sweatbox barely has enough seats for eight. To the back of this dungeon hovers what seems like a faux bamboo tiki bar, likely the ruins of a former eatery. The leftover fixtures from former restaurants isn’t surprising considering this is the third restaurant to occupy this location in a little over a year. With mariachi music playing in the background and bright Mexican blankets serving as impromptu tablecloths, the atmosphere is a little lacking. But the distracting environment makes this restaurant the perfect place to make your order to-go or better yet, have it delivered. Because what this taco joint lacks for in décor, it more than reciprocates in cheap, authentic eats.

All of the tacos from Tacos El Compita come wrapped in paper rolling the soft corn tortillas into a cone shaped delight. Topped with the traditional onions and cilantro, and with creamy guacamole bursting out of its interior, a quick squeeze from the provided lime wedge and a small pour of their hot sauce is all you need. The hard part is deciding which filling you would like your tacos stuffed with. Tacos El Compita offers a variety of eight different tacos ranging from chicken to beef tongue. El Metro Miser highly recommends the enchilada taco (with its small tender chunks of beef simmered in a spicy sauce) and the chorizo taco (with its delicate, juicy morsels of spice-filled sausage). The best part is that all the varieties of their tacos will only set you back two greenbacks a pop.

Of course tacos only make up a small portion of the hard-to-decipher menu. Classics like burritos, tostadas and flautas are abundant. A newcomer to my palette is the huarache. Huarache literally translates as “sandal”, because of the large, thick, oval shaped tortilla used in this big brother of the tostada. This doughy cornmeal pita is fried until the edges are nice and crispy, then slathered with refried beans and topped with seasoned pieces of steak, lettuce, tomatoes and fresh cheese. It’s an excellent marriage of flavors and textures, although I’m not sure completely worth the $5.50 selling point.

By far the best bang for your last few bucks lies in the mighty torta. Mexican for sandwich, this monster is served in a Mexican-style roll called a bolillo and packed with goodies. I opted for the milanesa de pollo, or breaded chicken cutlet version. From top to bottom the fillings were black refried beans, pickled jalapenos and carrots, a fat chicken cutlet, lettuce, tomato, onion, cheese, mayonnaise, another chicken cutlet and guacamole. I was in heaven from the first bite to that last tiny piece of crust. A steal at $4.50, this Mexican sandwich gets The Metro Miser Seal of Approval. And for a buck extra, Tacos El Compita offers the cemita, which the friendly waitress informed me, was the larger version of the torta. Probably well worth another ducket, although the normal-sized torta made for a perfect dinner portion.

Unfortunately, many of the dishes on Tacos El Compita’s menu are out of The Metro Miser’s price range. Although I’m almost positive, if they’re anything like the cheap staples served, you won’t be disappointed.

Tacos El Compita
32-20 34th Avenue (btwn 32nd & 33rd St.)
Astoria, NY 11106
(718) 472-9066
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The Metro Miser

Yes. I am the cheap bastard who suddenly has the immediate urge to visit the facilities just moments before the restaurant bill arrives to the table. Yes. I do regift. Yeah, I am that jerk at the supermarket comparing the price per ounce of salad dressings. And, yes. When I go to the pub with coworkers, I usually disappear when it's my round to buy. But hell, I've been drinking PBR's all night, and your Goose and tonics are a little on the pricey side.

It's not that I'm poor. I do have a decent job in the city with an OK salary. I have no debt. No mortgage. No child support. I dunno. I just hate spending my money. And it's not that old "I work hard for my money" line, because honestly, I really don't work that hard.

I guess I just don't see the point in paying a premium price for something when there's cheaper options out there. How could someone spend $200 on a pair of jeans when you can find a pair on the discount rack at the Gap for $20? why spend $9 on shampoo when Suave is on sale at Eckerd for 88¢? And why spend 25¢ on the Post when AM New York is free? Well, that "Weird But True" section in the Post is pretty damn entertaining. I guess the point is we all have options, and generally I choose the cheapest one.