Napoli- The Pizza Artists

First off as a disclaimer, I am not a pizza aficionado. But I do appreciate a good slice. And while I hesitate to say that Napoli has the best pizza in Astoria (don’t want to offend anybody), lately their pizza pies have been my favorites. I’ve had my faves throughout the hood. For the longest time my favorite pizza joint was Gino’s on Broadway. Then Polito’s, then Rizzo’s, then Dino’s. Hey, they all make a mean slice. And to be fair, I don't only order a plain slice. I love to eat all different styles of pizza... Thin crust, Sicilian, Grandma, veggie - whatever I am craving at the time. But lately my favorite is the sausage slice at Napoli on 35th Ave.


The menu describes the sausage pizza as “Top Grade Italian Sausage”. What a complete understatement. The sausage will blow you away. Sooo juicy and bursting with flavor. These guys really take pride in their pies and they don’t skimp on the ingredients. I mean look at their pizza box… It’s a chef… PAINTING A PIZZA!!!


That really sums it up. These guys are pizza artists. They should rename the joint to Da Vinci’s or Michelangelo’s. Their pies are masterpieces. Hell, they could throw these things on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and people would still be coming in to take pictures.

Aside from the pizza, the thing to get here is the cheap-as-hell pasta dishes. The standouts are the Penne alla Vodka, Fettuccini Alfredo & the Lasagna. And I can’t forget about their Bolognese sauce. TO DIE FOR!!! The wife and I were fighting over the last bits of sauce. The portions on the pasta are large without being disgustingly huge like other Italian joints. And the best part is none of the pasta dishes clock in over $6.00!!! A Metro Miser's Dream. It’s time to place an order right now!


Are you guys seeing what I’m seeing? Maybe heaven in a tin tray? I love lasagna, and for the longest time, I was ordering it from Bartolino’s on Broadway. Yes, it was delicious, but it was hurting my wallet a bit (Con Ed sent me a second notice for non-payment). Thankfully I stumbled upon this secret of Astoria. I can use my air conditioner again.

Now, let me tell you a little about the restaurant. It’s in a basement. Really. The storefront is kind of half a floor down. In the front is the pizza counter and oven and to the back is the dining room. Yeah, the dining room has no windows and feels like you’re in your grandmother’s basement. It’s a bit dingy, but that’s the kitsch of it. And while you think you wouldn’t feel comfortable eating here, everyone is super friendly, and they make you feel very welcome… You feel like you’re at Grandma’s house. (Before she moved to the old folks home).

Napoli Pizza & Pasta
3302 35th Ave
Astoria, NY 11106
(718) 472-1146

It's a Doggy Dogg World

So after spending a disgustingly sticky day trekking around the neighborhood in search of some much needed furniture, I stopped in this little unassuming Chilean bakery on the corner of 37th St. and Astoria Blvd. When you first enter the San Antonio Bakery, you're met with views of tasty looking pastries and freshly baked bread of all shapes and sizes. There wasn't a menu of any kind, so I simply asked "Do y'all have hot dogs?" After confirming to me that "yes" they do have a special hot dog, the wonderful gal at the counter told me to take a seat at one of the few tables.
Most of the other customers seemed to be regulars. Though I did spot a couple taking pictures of their food like myself. Were they other bloggers or just strange people who like to have digital souvenirs of what they consume? I didn't ask, because I really just wanted to eat at this point. After a few minutes my hot dog was brought to my table in a cute little hot dog server thing.


This hot dog comes topped with sauerkraut, tomatoes, avocado, and a little mayo squeeze. These ingredients certainly sound more appetizing than the hot dog at Rapture. They also provide you with their homeade hot sauce which I was told goes well with the dog.







After my first bite I was sold. This shit was so damn good!!! The thing that makes this is the bread. It's warm and soft with a little sweetness...duh because it's fresh bread! The toppings and hot sauce taste excellent in accompaniment to that delicious bread. I won't lie, I ordered a second (it's only $3.50) becuase it was that awesome. Plus they don't serve beer, but that's ok I still I left a satisfied gal. You should know that I really dig my meat.

Take one last look at this thing. Yum!















San Antonio Bakery
36-20 Astoria Blvd
Astoria, NY 11103

The Asian King of Queens

Ahhhh where to begin. Can I say enough praise for my most frequently ordered restaurant? I don’t think that I can do justice when reviewing this joint. This is my delivery standby. I order from here at least once a week…or five. Hell, I must have spent thousands of dollars at this spot- I should have a framed photo on the wall. Yes, they serve Chinese AND Japanese food (an obvious sign of an identity crisis). Yeah, you can barely understand the girl on the phone. And yes, I think I did get food poisoning from here once, but Bourdain did warn me not to eat seafood on a Monday, and besides, that didn’t deter me one bit from placing an order the next week.

King Garden. The king of all (Chinese and Japanese) gardens. Ok, it is a take-out Chinese joint, but it is a few notches above your normal neighborhood spot. They’re pretty clean, considering the competition, they’re very friendly, and their ordering system is completely computerized. After your first order, you’re in the system and they know your exact address when you call… No more “3C” …”3C”…..”THREE SEEEEEEEE!!!!”.

Now let me start by saying, I do not vouch for their Chinese food. I’ve only ordered the basics from here and they were pretty mediocre. But as for the Japanese menu (yes they have two totally different menus), it’s a serious deal for what you get. My main go-to dish is the Chicken Karaage combination ($6.55).



Karaage is basically Japanese fried chicken over rice, and the combination comes with a small salad and your choice of either dumplings, California roll, salmon roll or a couple other rolls. I usually opt for the California. The meal is bomb. A deal and a half. Crispy, moist chicken with a little sauce drizzled over it. I live off of this.

The wife always orders the same- two avocado-cucumber rolls ($2.45 each) and a small hot & sour soup…she’s always pleased. When I am craving sushi, I order the sushi combination B ($6.95) – I worked it out one night, and it seems to be a much better value over sushi combination A. It comes with a California roll and six sashimi’s- eel, shrimp, that fake crab stuff, yellowtail?, tuna, and salmon. Also on my frequent orders are the Oyako Don which loosely translates to “mother and child” (chicken and egg) over rice. Mmmmmmm – Seriously! It’s really a typical Japanese home-cooked dish that reminds me of my mother’s cooking. Another one of my faves is the chicken katsu curry over rice ($5.75).



So flavorful!!! You can’t tell from the picture, but the curry has small bits of potato and carrots. If you haven’t tried Japanese curry, you must. It’s unlike any other country’s curry- rich and slightly sweet. I think I might order it right now. The chicken katsu version is basically a chicken cutlet, breaded in panko and fried. A little dip in the curry bath and a scoop of rice- ahhh, I’m in heaven.

The King Garden also has meals fit for a “king”- enter the world of the DELUXE COMBINATION. It’s really the normal combination, like the karaage combo, plus tempura (2 shrimp and some veggies) AND a miso soup.



This thing weighs like three pounds! Whenever my old roommate crashes over, he always orders the Karaage deluxe combination ($9.25)….And he finishes it! Believe me, this is not for amateurs. It’s a meal fit for kings. If you haven’t yet, give these guys a call.

King Garden
4306 34th Ave
Astoria, NY 11101
(718) 472-3766‎

Rapture does it "doggie style"

Located on 28th Avenue, the atmosphere inside Rapture Lounge was nicely laid back. It was a little too dark for my tastes, but nothing I couldn't deal with. It wasn't very crowded on a Tuesday evening. The bartender was a sweet gal. The music was all over the place from Guns n' Roses to the Gap Band to Jack Johnson and a lot of other randoms. It kind of sounded like my iPod on shuffle, which can be a good thing, but can also be quite embarrassing. Anyways, let's get to down to what's important, the dog.


Rapture serves up a hot dog that sounds a little odd. The "Doggie Style" Hot Dog is a frank on your standard bun with tortilla chips, onions, pineapples, ketchup and mayo. Honestly it sounded kind of gross, but I was down for a taste and at $3 there's no reason not to try it.


The ketchup and pineapple add a nice sweetness and combine well with the crunch of the tortilla chips. Surprisingly, everything blends nicely together.


At $3 a pop this is the cheapest item on the menu. You may want to order 2 as the portion size is not very filling. But at this price you can easily order 2 or just drink a few beers in place of any extra food, you'll be full all the same. I noticed they had a few specialtly drinks with suggestive names like 1-900 F*ck Me Up, Sex on The Sofa, and Tie Me to the Bedpost. While not cheap, they don't call me Lushious for nothing. I decided that I might as well try one since that's what I do. My choice was The Jealous Bitch, not that I am one...


It was a little sweet but tasty all the same. At $10 a pop I really would only drink again if someone else was buying. Also, getting drunk on fruity drinks is only asking for trouble later in the evening. After a few more beers I was good to go.

In the end, doing it doggie style was alright by me.

Rapture Lounge
3427 28th Ave
Astoria, NY 11103
(718) 626-8044

Muncan Meat Market

When a Romanian coworker of mine told me he was going to bring traditional Romanian sausages to our friend’s barbeque, I was pretty excited. When he told me the butcher who sold these sausages was located in Astoria, I was ecstatic. I almost begged him to take me. Well, the day of the barbeque came, and as promised, my Romanian comrade guided me to Muncan’s easy-to-miss storefront on Broadway. Upon entering this exotic meat bonanza, I was bewildered. It was a pure plethora of unfamiliar meats. I wanted everything even though I had no idea of what anything was.

There were at least a dozen varieties of bacon in the glass cases. Smoked ribs, cured meats, and sausages dangled from the jungle gym above the counter. With Romanian dialects dancing in the air and hand-to-hand transactions taking place, you could tell this was the real deal. It was a crackhouse for meat addicts. My friend brutishly asked for our fix. Mici. Pronounced “meech” and ringing in at $4.99/lb., it definitely wasn’t the most appetizing thing in the shop. I wondered why my guide would choose what appeared to be scrawny logs of ground pork, with all these mouth-watering meats surrounding us. These mici didn’t even have casings. I was disappointed that we were leaving the shop with only one item. He promised not to worry. Traditionally served as street food and enjoyed with a beer, these sausages would go perfectly at the barbeque.

After a round of the essential burgers and dogs prepared by our host, my Romanian friend commandeered the grill and slapped the innocent mici onto the hot grates. After what seemed like an eternity and with a grease fire starting to erupt, the mici were ready to ready to be devoured.

The once frail meat logs plumped up into perfectly shaped nuggets of grilled-marked goodness. Surprising to me was that even though this sausage had no casing to speak of, the grill seared a perfect chewy exterior encasing the juicy center. A quick dip through mustard sealed the deal. The first bite was an overwhelming sense of jubilation. Not packed with spices, and not mild, its garlicky robustness fell somewhere in between an Italian sausage and a breakfast link, but nothing like either of them. Damn fine sausage. Now I can’t wait to go back to try some other Romanian meats.

Muncan Food Corp
43-09 Broadway (btwn 43rd & 44th st.)
Astoria, NY 11103
(718) 417-5095

Astoria Street Combing

You know the old saying, “The best things in life are free”. Well, I don’t buy it. The best things in life can be pretty damn expensive. Tropical vacations, dinner with friends, even the love of your life can put a huge dent in your pocket. But there are things in life that are absolutely free, and they can be pretty decent. Hell, more than half of the furniture in The Metro Miser’s apartment was free. The kitchen hutch, the nightstand, and the dresser were all giveaways from friends moving out of their apartments. Whenever a friend is moving, I ask two questions. Do you need any help? (I cringe on the phone waiting for the answer.) And are you getting rid of anything?

It’s no secret that in New York a lot of people toss out many of their possessions when moving out of their apartments. Space is a premium. People don’t want to clutter their new apartments with their old crap. I’ve found out that the best pickings can be found on the last weekend of every month. Moving day is a smorgasbord of pickings for the street comber. In Astoria, futons, lamps, small kitchen appliances and exercise equipment are abundant on these weekends. I found my living room side table right on my block. A Mexican handmade wood and leather chair was a great find. My coffee table, although it needed a coat of stain to camouflage the blemishes, was a steal at only $0.00.

Just this past weekend, I went dumpster diving, another one of my favorite pastimes. In this particular gray chest of treasures on 29th st and 31st ave, I came across an old leather suitcase. Upon prying the leather straps apart, I struck gold. Three vintage board games emerged. With boxes completely intact, they looked quite good for their age.

I decided to leave the Monopoly for another lucky soul, and took the Stop Thief and Baseball Strategy board games home with me. I took a quick look on eBay, just out of curiosity, to see if the games were worth anything. Surprise! A recently completed auction showed the Stop Thief game going for a final bid of $41. The baseball game went for $10. Hell yeah. That’s fifty bucks in the bank for The Metro Miser.

Tacos El Compita

Astoria, Queens really isn’t known for it’s Mexican cuisine, but for a cheap dinner, Mexican grub is hard to beat. A newbie to the neighborhood is Tacos El Compita. This tiny taqueria is situated on 34th Avenue, snuggled between a Chinese take-out joint and a neighborhood convenience. Dimly lit, this sweatbox barely has enough seats for eight. To the back of this dungeon hovers what seems like a faux bamboo tiki bar, likely the ruins of a former eatery. The leftover fixtures from former restaurants isn’t surprising considering this is the third restaurant to occupy this location in a little over a year. With mariachi music playing in the background and bright Mexican blankets serving as impromptu tablecloths, the atmosphere is a little lacking. But the distracting environment makes this restaurant the perfect place to make your order to-go or better yet, have it delivered. Because what this taco joint lacks for in décor, it more than reciprocates in cheap, authentic eats.

All of the tacos from Tacos El Compita come wrapped in paper rolling the soft corn tortillas into a cone shaped delight. Topped with the traditional onions and cilantro, and with creamy guacamole bursting out of its interior, a quick squeeze from the provided lime wedge and a small pour of their hot sauce is all you need. The hard part is deciding which filling you would like your tacos stuffed with. Tacos El Compita offers a variety of eight different tacos ranging from chicken to beef tongue. El Metro Miser highly recommends the enchilada taco (with its small tender chunks of beef simmered in a spicy sauce) and the chorizo taco (with its delicate, juicy morsels of spice-filled sausage). The best part is that all the varieties of their tacos will only set you back two greenbacks a pop.

Of course tacos only make up a small portion of the hard-to-decipher menu. Classics like burritos, tostadas and flautas are abundant. A newcomer to my palette is the huarache. Huarache literally translates as “sandal”, because of the large, thick, oval shaped tortilla used in this big brother of the tostada. This doughy cornmeal pita is fried until the edges are nice and crispy, then slathered with refried beans and topped with seasoned pieces of steak, lettuce, tomatoes and fresh cheese. It’s an excellent marriage of flavors and textures, although I’m not sure completely worth the $5.50 selling point.

By far the best bang for your last few bucks lies in the mighty torta. Mexican for sandwich, this monster is served in a Mexican-style roll called a bolillo and packed with goodies. I opted for the milanesa de pollo, or breaded chicken cutlet version. From top to bottom the fillings were black refried beans, pickled jalapenos and carrots, a fat chicken cutlet, lettuce, tomato, onion, cheese, mayonnaise, another chicken cutlet and guacamole. I was in heaven from the first bite to that last tiny piece of crust. A steal at $4.50, this Mexican sandwich gets The Metro Miser Seal of Approval. And for a buck extra, Tacos El Compita offers the cemita, which the friendly waitress informed me, was the larger version of the torta. Probably well worth another ducket, although the normal-sized torta made for a perfect dinner portion.

Unfortunately, many of the dishes on Tacos El Compita’s menu are out of The Metro Miser’s price range. Although I’m almost positive, if they’re anything like the cheap staples served, you won’t be disappointed.

Tacos El Compita
32-20 34th Avenue (btwn 32nd & 33rd St.)
Astoria, NY 11106
(718) 472-9066
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The Metro Miser

Yes. I am the cheap bastard who suddenly has the immediate urge to visit the facilities just moments before the restaurant bill arrives to the table. Yes. I do regift. Yeah, I am that jerk at the supermarket comparing the price per ounce of salad dressings. And, yes. When I go to the pub with coworkers, I usually disappear when it's my round to buy. But hell, I've been drinking PBR's all night, and your Goose and tonics are a little on the pricey side.

It's not that I'm poor. I do have a decent job in the city with an OK salary. I have no debt. No mortgage. No child support. I dunno. I just hate spending my money. And it's not that old "I work hard for my money" line, because honestly, I really don't work that hard.

I guess I just don't see the point in paying a premium price for something when there's cheaper options out there. How could someone spend $200 on a pair of jeans when you can find a pair on the discount rack at the Gap for $20? why spend $9 on shampoo when Suave is on sale at Eckerd for 88¢? And why spend 25¢ on the Post when AM New York is free? Well, that "Weird But True" section in the Post is pretty damn entertaining. I guess the point is we all have options, and generally I choose the cheapest one.